Reader Comments


by gold stone (2019-01-24)

Mired, as if caught Provitazol Review in quicksand, the abuse victim cannot extricate himself from his original infraction, which most likely occurred at an age when he was neurologically too undeveloped to deal with it, thus compounding its detrimental effects and forcing him to react, even much later in life, as if he were experiencing the aftershocks of his own personal earthquake. Hindered from freely flowing from his positive emotions and autonomously choosing his own behavior, he becomes a push-button reactor.At the core, of course, of his rift is the one torn in his soul by his abuser's initial violation. Unable, especially at an infantile age, to protect or defend himself, he escaped-within-creating an inner, time-suspended child, which remains tied in its traumatic knot. Because of it, he cannot attain intimacy with either another or his own Creator, in what becomes a severed sacrifice for safety.Many couples fail to recognize that the power and experience of love-making isn't isolated to the act of sex. The physical closeness, blending and merger of our bodies mirrors a powerful emotional interconnection and blending that occurs during sex.Sex is always physical and emotional-and the emotional stirrings triggered through sex continue after the orgasm (or after the sexual experience).During and after sex, one's emotional needs and vulnerabilities are heightened, giving couples an opportunity to nurture emotional intimacy. Unfortunately, like Dominica's husband in the opening quote, many couples fail to recognize and nurture this post-sex opportunity. They quickly jump back onto the run-away train of life, failing to acknowledge and savor the enhanced emotional connectedness that comes with physical intimacy.For many, an emotional bubble is created during and after making love-and life inside this bubble is different from ordinary, day-to-day life in many ways. Under ideal conditions (and to differing degrees), a deeper experience of connection, oneness, pleasure, sensuality, exploration, vitality and playfulness permeate this space. The perception of time may even cease when you're in this erotic-intimacy bubble. This gives love-making a transcendent and transformative quality.Exiting this space can be jarring if a transition is ignored or minimized. Care should be taken to foster a transitional space that bridges the experience of love-making and the reality of daily living-a transition that honors the expression of love, connection and vulnerabilities that occurred inside the bubble. This transition doesn't have to be a time-consuming process as long as it is nurtured properly.The first step is to understand that both you and your spouse's/partner's emotional needs and vulnerabilities remain heightened not only during, but also after sex. Denying this reality means denying opportunities to feed each other emotionally.Awareness of these opportunities isn't enough, however. Actions speak louder than words: Behaving more lovingly and compassionately toward each other-giving each other a little more attention, reassuring one another, directly expressing your love through words, as well as sharing what was special about the sexual experience for you can go a long way in building and maintaining intimacy.