The key to succeeding in this very first step is keeping your emotions in check. This is usually easier said than done, especially after a breakup when our emotions are usually running wild! When you miss your ex, it’s easy to let emotions and longing take hold, causing you to reach out to him in an attempt to stay on his mind, or maybe to reignite the spark. You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule. Even if your ex contacts you, politely let him know you need some time to yourself and end the conversation. Engaging him beyond that will only suck you back into the cycle of drama or of constantly thinking of him. And you don’t want that. At this stage, you want to focus on yourself, your mental peace, and getting the relationship you want. Your fears, insecurities, negative emotions, and wishful thinking will be your biggest obstacle to succeeding here. Keeping your emotions and impulses in check at this stage is the foundation of the “getting your ex back” plan.

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